I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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