please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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