yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize