Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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