Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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