We won't sleep together?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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