Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
