some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize