listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize