Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
