i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
