you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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