Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
