I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
