The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
