I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
