..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
