Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are two peas in an std pod
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
