9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
