even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
