I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
