im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Randomize
