she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
