I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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