im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
