The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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