Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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