so that wasnt chicken after all
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
