Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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