I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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