I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He did a backflip because drugs
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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