Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
