It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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