Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
