You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just had sex bonerless
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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