and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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