This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
