What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
