Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
