I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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