just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
