Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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