belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
