yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize