you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
