Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
