i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize