I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
