I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
