He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
