its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
