hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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