yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
