Buhtt sex?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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