Screwed.edu
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
