...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
