Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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