if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
