just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
