I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
