sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
