Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
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