U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize